How to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls)

Losing your virginity can seem scary, and the range of myths surrounding it doesn't help. In most cases, though, penetrative sex should not be intensely painful, even on your first time. Follow along after the jump to learn how to mentally and physically prepare yourself.

Pick a stress-free location. If you're constantly worried about getting caught, you might not have much fun. Make it easier on yourself and your partner by choosing a time and place where you can be relatively sure you won't be disturbed.

• Look for privacy, a comfortable surface to lie down on, and a time when you aren't worried about being on a schedule.

Set a relaxing mood. Loosen up by making the atmosphere stress-free. Get rid of any distracting clutter, shut off your phone, and remove anything else that might make you feel nervous or keep you from focusing on your partner.

• Try some of the tricks that medical offices, dental offices or beauty salons use. Dim lighting, soft music, and warm room temperature are all meant to make you feel safe and comfortable.
• Consider taking some time to groom yourself beforehand so that you feel relaxed in your own skin. Take a quick shower, use scented lotion, style your hair, or do whatever else makes you feel pretty and confident.

Take your time. Try to think of sex as a marathon, not a sprint, and focus on enjoying your partner without rushing. Instead of worrying about getting right to it, spend time figuring out what you and your partner both enjoy. Start with kissing, move to making out, and stick to whatever pace feels most comfortable for both of you.

• Here's an extra bonus to doing plenty of foreplay: as you become more aroused, your natural lubrication will increase — making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly later on.

Communicate with your partner. Try not to be afraid to ask for what you need in the moment — he or she should be more than happy to help you. Slowing down, moving gently, or using more lubrication are all things you could suggest to ease the pain of your first time.

Do some aftercare (optional). If you're really struggling with the pain or experiencing bleeding, try to deal with it before it becomes too aggravating. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever (do not take aspirin if you're under age 19), clean up any blood, and wear a light pad for a few hours.

Tips

• If you feel like tonight is not yet "the night", don't be ashamed to postpone it. A caring partner will value how you feel above anything else and will not try to rush you into something you are not ready for. If you change your mind, it is okay to say so!
• You might get the urge to go to the toilet (be it number one or number two) during sex. It's normal. It will go away after couple of times you have sex.
• If you don't feel very confident about your body, remember that candlelight is always an option, and may feel more romantic and sexier than electric light or complete darkness.
• If you experience excruciating pain or heavy bleeding that lasts for a day or more, see a doctor.
• Consider making an appointment with a gynecologist after you become sexually active.
• Always use a water based lubricant, not Vaseline, oil, moisturizer, or any kind of greasy substance. This can damage latex based condoms and cause irritation and pain.
• No one's first time is absolutely perfect, so leave your expectations at the door. No one will expect you to be a pro.
• Use a condom even if you have another form of birth control if your partner has had sex with someone else before. You can get an STD your very first time. If you don't use birth control at all, you can get pregnant! Don't let something like that ruin your experience.  

Warnings

• Don't give in to pressure from your partner. It's your decision, not anyone else's.
• Don't drink or take any kind of drug out of fear of pain. It could make it much worse.
• If you are planning on losing your virginity and your partner has had sex with other people, carefully consider that sexually transmitted infections (all STDs are STIs) are a serious matter. STIs are spread through vaginal, anal, and oral intimacy. You can have an STI and never know, and pass it on to others too. You can decrease your chances of getting an STD by using condoms, dental dams, and other barrier methods.
• If you take birth control pills and are taking other medications such as an antibiotic, this can alter the effects of your birth control. You should always consult your doctor before starting any medications along with your birth control to see if there will be any negative effects.
• It is possible to get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms have one of the highest failure rates among the most common methods of birth control. So if possible, use another form of birth control along with a condom.

Things You'll Need

A silicone- or water-based lubricant (recommended)

Male or female condoms and another form of birth control (strongly recommended)