Last Ramadan, I looked forward to eating the fruit salad prepared by my
husband’s hands for iftar. Even though the fruit pieces were not cut
exactly the way I would have cut them myself, they were cut with love –
and that’s what made my Ramadan extra special! Sitting together with
him, my iftars with my husband were simple: just a date, some water,
some fruit salad, and each other’s company. And that’s all we needed.
Although
married couples are not permitted to be intimate to the level which may
lead to intercourse while fasting, there are many other ways to express
your love for one another during Ramadan.
Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) says in the ayah:
“It
has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to
your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are
clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so
He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with
them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink
until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black
thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset. And do not
have relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the
mosques. These are the limits [set by] Allah, so do not approach them.
Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may
become righteous.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 187]
Therefore, it
is important to remember that while sexual activity during the day is
strictly prohibited, after Maghrib and until the beginning of Fajr the
next morning, resuming sexual relations with your husband is not
forbidden. Although you may probably be tired from the long days of
fasting and may be getting ready for taraweeh and qiyam-ul-layl during
that period, it is worth knowing the boundaries and what is allowed for
the month of Ramadan.
In this article, I will be sharing my tips
and advice that will allow you to create time for your spouse, help you
bond with your husband, and assist in strengthening your iman as a wife
during the holy month of Ramadan. Striving for a happy marriage even
during the busy days of Ramadan will cement the foundations for a
blessed marriage throughout the rest of the year, In sha Allah!
1) Make time for your spouse
You may be asking, how do I even
find the time for myself during Ramadan, much less find the time to
spend with my husband? Quite frankly, life can be a tornado during
Ramadan, especially with young children, where everything is flying in a
circle of mess right in front of our eyes. However, what often calms
this tornado is ample preparation and the thoughts of what really
matters: our final destination, jannah. And how do we achieve jannah?
One of the ways a woman will enter Paradise is by pleasing her husband,
as the Prophet Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and
blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
“Whichever woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, then she enters Paradise.” [At-Tirmidhi]
Taking
the above into consideration, it is no wonder that the thought of
pleasing your husband refocuses your thoughts on the final destination
of jannah. Creating time for your husband is a goal every wife should
strive for, especially in the holy month of Ramadan, as rewards are
innumerably multiplied. Make multiple intentions when you set out to
please your husband: to increase your patience with his shortcomings, to
control your anger, to be kinder; so you get multiple rewards for each
of these intentions, In sha Allah.
2) Eat suhoor and iftar with your husband
One
way in which you can spend time with your spouse is by eating suhoor
and iftar with him, for this is a beautiful way to connect with one
another during Ramadan. Furthermore, these times provide a great
opportunity for each of you to discuss your progress in terms of your
Ramadan goals and to remind each other that you are both fasting for the
sake of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He). If
your husband breaks his fast at the masjid, then try and set a time
later in the evening for a light meal to compensate. Even if this is not
manageable everyday, try and plan it for two or three evenings a week,
and you can even get the children involved in these discussions. The aim
is to have a stress-free and calm environment in which to connect
emotionally and enjoy each other’s company.
3) Have your husband help out
A
great way to show someone you care for them is to help them out during
their most stressful times; you will know this firsthand if you are a
mother with young children! With that said, there are many ways in which
husbands can assist their wives during Ramadan, such as loading the
dishwasher, watching the children, or helping to prepare suhoor and
iftar. Certainly, having a helping hand is very much appreciated and
increases the love between a husband and wife because they are doing
something together. Before Ramadan begins, have a healthy discussion
with him and suggest tasks he can complete before or after work when
fasting starts, reminding him of the great reward attached to helping
others, especially during Ramadan.
4) Increase your knowledge as a couple
Another
effective way for couples to increase their love for one another during
Ramadan is to tune into Islamic lectures together about marriage in
Islam, the rights of husbands and wives in Islam, and so forth.
Listening to Islamic lectures or reading Islamic material from books can
be done together any time throughout the day, and is a great way to not
only gain knowledge, but to also spend quality time together. YouTube
is an invaluable resource for short, imaan-boosting lectures, so you can
ensure you have a few minutes together for precious reminders during
Ramadan, which you can discuss later, especially during iftar.
5) Send each other ahadith
Whenever I read tips for healthy
marriages, I often see advice about leaving cute “I love you” notes in
his lunchbox or on his desk for him to find. During Ramadan, do this by
sending each other text messages or e-mails. For instance, send him
ahadith about jannah and tell him you are reminding him of the beauty
that awaits you, to motivate you both to work hard in this dunya, so
that you both may meet each other in jannah one day:
“Kauthar is a
river in Paradise whose banks are of gold and its bed is of rubies and
pearls. Its soil is more fragrant than musk, its water is sweeter than
honey and whiter than snow.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]
Receiving
beautiful ahadith like this during Ramadan will remind you both of the
beautiful gifts that you will receive for your sacrifices in this life,
In sha Allah.
6) Encourage each other
Encourage
each other to read the Qur’an daily, to memorize surahs and duas, and to
pray on time during Ramadan. With every soft-spoken word of sincere
encouragement comes plentiful reward. And with every word of
encouragement exchanged, is a reminder of your love for one another, for
only loved ones encourage each other to be the best they can be in this
dunya in order to make it to jannah together!
7) Prepare yourself for his return from i’tikaf
If
you’re like me, I’m sure you like to get dressed up for those fun Eid
celebrations with family. This Ramadan, try and take some time out to
glam yourself up a day early, just for your husband, if he has gone for
i’tikaf. After 10 days of not seeing you and spending every moment in
the worship of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He),
your husband will appreciate that you made an effort just for him.
Again, with the intention of pleasing Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla
(glorified and exalted be He) through pleasing your husband, this will
ensure enormous reward for you, and guarantee a happy husband!
Make dua in secret
Ramadan
has countless opportunities for dua to be accepted. So, for truly
lasting happiness, make ample dua that Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla
(glorified and exalted be He) blesses your marriage and increases the
love and understanding between you and your spouse2. Abu Dharr reported
that Allah’s Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings
of Allāh be upon him) said:
“There is no believing servant who
supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the
Angels do not say: The same be for you too.” [Sahih Muslim]1
I
know life can get busy, especially during Ramadan, but all of your
sincere efforts towards keeping your marriage healthy and alive in
Ramadan will be rewarded, In sha Allah. Remind yourself constantly of
the reward attached to keeping each other happy, and build the
foundations for a happier marriage this Ramadan!
http://productivemuslim.com/marital-bliss-in-ramadan/?utm_source=getresponse&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ProductiveMuslim+NewsLetter&utm_content=%5B%5Brssitem_title%5D%5D#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=marital-bliss-in-ramadan
May
Allah make this coming Ramadan an easy one for us all and may all our
prayers be answered. Wish you all a blessed Ramadan in advance.
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